Conflict situations at school are inevitable. Another thing is that by directing the situation in the right direction, you can benefit from everything. It is unlikely to learn this without the help of adults.
Children's perception largely depends on the reaction of others to certain actions. If the children are lucky with a teacher in elementary school, and conflicts are resolved exclusively by a destructive method, then the school period will be remembered with warmth and tenderness for many years.
Causes of conflicts between children at school
There can be many reasons for misunderstanding within the walls of the school. Even the spirit of competition inherent in schoolchildren can be regarded as a provocation that stimulates action, knowledge, and the desire to become the best. The task of the teacher is to make sure that the competition is healthy.
A conflict may arise in the following reasons:
- desire to become a leader;
- personal animosity;
- struggle for recognition, resentment;
- unrequited feeling;
- dislike and arrogant condescending attitude towards someone;
- desire to be friends with someone against someone.
Sometimes children of different classes clash at school. And it also happens that classmates are divided into clans.
Often, favorites or those students who are constantly made public remarks by teachers are also drawn into the situation. Children are cruel, they can dislike the strong no less than the weak.
How to avoid conflict situations
Not everything depends on the teacher, but a lot. It is on his shoulders to lay down the burden of responsibility. Avoiding conflict between children at school and trying to smooth the situation is the sacred duty of the teacher.
Even after a disrupted lesson, "debriefing can be different." The first way is to look for someone to blame among the students, perhaps even with the involvement of the director and class teacher. Guilty will definitely be found, and fertile ground for showdowns between students in the future too.
The constructive way looks different.
The situation is the following. Upon learning of the teacher's illness, high school students agree to take a walk outside the school. The replacement is at the last moment, but the decision to skip has been made and is not subject to appeal.
The only girl, an excellent student, comes to the lesson. The teacher's reaction is a unit in her diary and no "debriefing" after. Unpedagogical? Hardly. Only a real child psychologist could do that.
It is difficult to imagine what scale the conflict between the remaining student and her classmates could have reached during the “debriefing”.
Causes of conflicts
Whatever the causes of conflicts between children at school, it is the teacher who has to resolve many of them. Sometimes it is not even necessary to openly intervene in what is happening.
The teacher teaches not only literacy, he helps the child to adapt in a team, learn to communicate in a civilized way, argue, defend their point of view, give in, understand and accept mistakes, be responsible for their actions.
Features of conflicts
Conflicts between schoolchildren and classmates can have a slightly different nature. It is important to understand that any class is a team. Sometimes misunderstandings can arise between older and younger students.
There can be many reasons for this, up to a feeling of jealousy for a beloved teacher who has taken on the upbringing of other students.
What to do if a child has a conflict with a teacher
It is much more difficult if the conflicting parties are the student and the teacher. The reasons for the conflict between the child and the teacher can be different, up to personal hostility.
Sometimes different methods of upbringing within the walls of the school and in the family make themselves felt. Before taking sides, it is important to understand the situation. Sometimes parents do not know exactly how to determine that a child has a conflict with a teacher.
The first step is to go to school and talk to the teacher. This is the only way to understand who is to blame and what is really happening. Outcomes can vary from complete resolution of the problem without the involvement of outsiders to complaints to higher authorities and even transfer to another school.
Always gotta try to smooth sharp corners and not provoke conflicts.
If you do not want the child to withdraw into himself and hold a grudge against everyone and everything, you should never scold him in public, even if he is wrong. Listening to everyone is one thing, but depriving a child of support is another.
It will not hurt to have a one-on-one conversation with the teacher or collect information about the teacher, his methods of education, and so on. The peaceful way is always better.
What to do if the child is in conflict at school - advice to parents
On the conflict of children at school, the actions of parents are different. It's always best to try to understand the situation first. In most cases, the truth lies somewhere in between.
It is impossible to take the categorical side of the teacher or the child. Don't jump to conclusions either.
Of course, with any complaints from the “beloved child”, it is possible to start a showdown and immediately transfer the blood to another school, but no one can give guarantees that a son or daughter will be able to adapt in a new team and will not conflict.
Don't be afraid to communicate and speak your mind openly. This is the only way to find the true causes of what is happening and options for eliminating an unpleasant situation.
State budgetary special (correctional) educational institution of the Republic of Khakassia for students, pupils with handicapped health "Special (correctional) boarding school III, IV types"
teacher of history and social studies, CDO
Ten Tatyana Anatolyevna
Cards with an example of conflict situations for psychological and pedagogical training
"Methods of constructive solution of conflict situations".
Situation 1
Lesson in English. The class is divided into subgroups. In one of the subgroups, the teacher changed. When checking homework, the new teacher, without acquainting students with their requirements, asked them to answer the topic by heart. One of the students said that before they were allowed to retell the text freely, and not by heart. For the retelling, she received -3. which caused her negative attitude towards the teacher. The girl came to the next lesson without completing her homework, although she was a diligent student. The teacher, after the survey, gave her 2. The girl tried to disrupt the next lesson, persuading
classmates skip the lesson. At the request of the teacher, the children returned to the classroom, but refused to complete the tasks. After the lessons, the student turned to the class teacher with a request to transfer her to another subgroup.
Situation 2
A conflict arose between the student and the teacher: the teacher is outraged by the student's poor performance and gives him the opportunity to correct his grades with the help of an essay, the student agrees and brings the essay to the next lesson. First, not on the topic, but in the way he liked, although, according to him, he spent, according to him, his entire evening preparing him. Secondly, all crumpled. The teacher is even more indignant and in a sharp form says that this is a humiliation of him as a teacher. The student defiantly stands up and begins to swing his legs back and forth, holding on to the desk. The teacher first tries to seat the student, but, unable to stand it, grabs him and pushes him out of the classroom, then takes him to the director, leaves him there and goes to the classroom.
Situation 3
The math teacher delayed the class at recess after the bell. As a result, the students were late for the next lesson - a lesson in physics. The angry physics teacher expressed his indignation to the math teacher, as he had a test scheduled. His subject, he believes, is very difficult, and he considers it unacceptable to waste class time due to students being late. The mathematics teacher objected that his subject was no less important and difficult. The conversation takes place in the hallway at elevated tones with in large numbers witnesses.
1. Indicate the structural components (subject, participants, macro environment, image) of the conflict in each situation presented.
2. Determine the type of conflict presented in each of the situations.
Situation 4
Lesson in 8th grade. Checking homework, the teacher calls the same student three times. All three times the boy answered in silence, although he usually did well in this subject. The result is "2" in the log. The next day, the survey begins again with this student. And when he again did not answer, the teacher removed him from the lesson. The same story was repeated in the next two classes, followed by absenteeism and the call of parents to school. But the parents expressed dissatisfaction with the teacher that he could not find an approach to their son. The teacher, in response, complained to the parents that they did not pay due attention to their son. The conversation continued in the director's office.
Determine the behavioral styles of the participants in this conflict situation.
1. What style of behavior characterizes the teacher? Parents?
2. What style of behavior does the student demonstrate?
3. What style of conflict resolution do you think is the most effective in this situation?
Analyze the proposed situations from the point of view of the manifestation of the dynamics of the conflict:
Situation 5
Parents came to the kindergarten to pick up their son's documents. The child attended kindergarten for three days, after which he fell ill, and the parents decided to take the child. The director demanded that the parents pay for the child's stay in the kindergarten through the Savings Bank. But the parents did not want to go to the bank and offered to pay the money to her personally. The manager explained to the parents that she could not accept the money. Parents were indignant and, having uttered a lot of insults in her address and in the address kindergarten They left, slamming the door.
Situation 6
10 minutes before class starts. There is a teacher and several students in the classroom. The environment is calm, friendly. Another teacher enters the class in order to obtain the necessary information from a colleague. Approaching a colleague and having a conversation with him, the teacher who entered suddenly interrupts her and turns his attention to a 10th grade student sitting opposite, who has a golden ring on her hand: “Look, the students are all wearing gold. Who gave you permission to wear gold to school?!”
At the same time, without waiting for a response from the student, the teacher turned to the door and, continuing to loudly indignant, left the office, slamming the door.
One of the students asked, "What was that?" The question remained unanswered. The teacher sitting in the classroom was silent all this time, unable to find a way out of this situation. The student was embarrassed, blushed, and began to remove the ring from her hand. Turning either to the teacher or to everyone in the class, she asked: “Why and for what?” There were tears in the girl's eyes.
Analyze the proposed situations. Try to imagine possible solutions to them using the techniques from the set of prepared reactions.
Situation 7
During the meeting, one of the parents of students in your class began to criticize your teaching and upbringing methods. As the dialogue progressed, he began to lose his temper, angrily yelling offensive remarks at you. You cannot allow a parent to behave like this. What will you do?
Situation 8
On the street, you unexpectedly meet your colleague, who is officially on sick leave. It is her lessons that you are forced to “replace”. But you find her in perfect health. What will you do?
Situation 9
At the beginning of the school year, the school principal asked you to temporarily serve as head teacher for educational work, promising an additional payment for this. But after three months, the promised payment was not credited to you. What will you do?
Situation 10
At recess, a tear-stained student came up to you. In her opinion, you unfairly gave her an annual grade in your subject. What will you do?
Imagine what the teacher might do in this situation.
Situation11
At the lesson, the teacher several times made comments to the student who was not studying. He did not react to remarks, continued to interfere with others, asked ridiculous questions to the students around him and distracted them from the topic explained by the teacher. The teacher made another remark and warned that it was the last one. She continued her explanation, but the rustle and rumble did not decrease. Then the teacher approached the student, took a diary from the desk and wrote down a remark. Further, the lesson was actually disrupted, as the student continued to communicate with classmates with greater force, and the teacher could no longer stop him.
Very often, a conflict is brewing in children, which later turns into fights right in educational institution. Situations like this only distract from learning. For this reason, you need to know how to resolve conflicts?
Possible variants of conflicts.
Of course, very different problem situations can arise, but nevertheless, they are often associated with misunderstanding, jealousy, envy from one child to another.
Most often, conflict situations arise in the senior classes during the transitional age. An increased level of aggression and a desire to prove one's adulthood make themselves felt.
For example, there may be a conflict between two girls over a dispute over one boy, or vice versa. In such a situation, the consequences can be catastrophic, because children are used to exaggerating everything, so they are sincerely confident that true love is happening in their lives now. There were cases when, due to disputes over the heart of one boy, the girls staged large-scale fights, in which there were both wounded and killed. In this situation, each side needs to remain as calm as possible and try to approach the problem in an adult way.
Conflicts at school can also happen because of addictions. For example, one child loves popular music and is confused by the fact that someone loves rock music. As a result, he begins to laugh at one child, which causes only a negative reaction. In the end, such a contentious situation can lead to the fact that children start a fight or feel antipathy for each other for a very long time.
Often even friends quarrel over elementary trifles. For example, it is very difficult for two girlfriends to find mutual language, if one of them is successful in learning and loved by teachers, while the other cannot boast of this. Here it is already a matter of envy and, again, to a conflict situation. At the beginning of solving a similar problem, successful children try to help their less successful friends. However, when it starts to go badly for them, they are faced with condemnation, along with gratitude from a friend. In fairness, it should be noted that such a conflict does not happen so often. The fact is that at school, children try to be friends with those whose sphere of interests suits them.
A few more options for conflicts at school.
Conflict resolution at school becomes a difficult and significant problem when it comes to simple aggression. For example, there is always a child at school who behaves badly, mocks everyone and constantly runs into conflicts. In this case, he doesn't even need a reason to start a fight. Gon starts it just like that with any person who looked at him the wrong way. In this case, you need to behave less aggressively so that the source of the conflict does not have reasons to continue the fight or insults. If this person sees that they treat him normally, do not try to resist his provocations, he will most likely retreat.
Children may also have conflicts of a sexual nature. Often in high school, girls experience unambiguous pressure from boys. At the same time, sometimes, such pressure results in very serious problems, even further complexes for the girl. The problem is that sexual harassment from classmates can cause her shock and further rejection of sex as a natural process.
Finally, one of the most serious groups of conflicts is social. Often, children from prosperous and good families begin to scoff at those who grew up only with their mother or without parents at all. In such a situation, the child can either show aggression or withdraw into itself forever. it is very important to immediately identify such a situation, notice it and try to resolve it in the right way. Otherwise. The child will always experience complexes about his social origin.
Actions of parents and teachers in case of conflicts.
Prevention of conflicts at school is an important task that falls on the shoulders of the teacher. The thing is that many competent teachers are able to resolve the conflict in the early stages, to make sure that it does not develop.
That is why teachers often arrange competitions and various events to rally the team of children. However, in this situation it is very important to ensure that the conflict does not arise between two different classes. Often in school events, one class is always recognized as the best, which causes hatred and envy from other children. It is necessary to resolve such a situation as soon as possible and do everything so that the school has a decent "climate" for learning.
Parents should also show their wisdom and participation in such situations. Often only they can put the right pressure on children, show their dominant position in their lives.
For example, if a parent does not have a very trusting relationship with a child, but he knows that he is involved in a conflicting school situation, you should not try to talk heart to heart with him. Most often, if a child does not communicate well with his parents, he does not like to be frank with them. You can try to come up with a story supposedly from your own life about how a parent faced a similar problem and found ways to solve it. This story can be told casually at a family dinner, for example.
It is wonderful when a parent and child have a great relationship in the family. Usually in such a situation, the child immediately tells mom or dad what is happening at school and often asks for advice.
For example, if a conflict arose because of the sympathy of two girls for one boy, then it is necessary to ask the child if this relationship really seems to him so important and serious. If the child answers positively, then you need to try to convince him of a peaceful solution to the conflict. It is worth talking with a child from whom aggression comes, explaining to him calmly without reproaches, and so on, that life has developed in this way. if the object of their common desire, that is, a boy, chooses one girl and not another, then they are not to blame. Every child is worthy of expressing their feelings and it is not worth quarreling over this.
In another case, when it comes to social conflicts, it is necessary to find out how exactly the controversial situation occurred? If other children from the class consider the child inferior because of his problems in the family, then you should not pay attention to this. The parent should advise to be active, try to do well in school and take part in the social life of the class. It is important to cause such a situation so that other classmates begin to admire the success of the child and understand that social status does not at all affect what kind of person grows up.
In addition, the child needs to be explained that he is no worse than the others due to the fact that he grows up in an incomplete family. Rather, on the contrary, he must prove to the whole world that even from such an unfavorable environment, one can emerge victorious in life.
How should a parent behave?
Many parents make completely stupid mistakes in resolving school conflicts, which later have incredible consequences. For example, a parent may ask the teacher to resolve the situation. In this case, the child will be even more pressured, because he complained to adults. In the children's environment, this is considered simply unacceptable.
Also, do not try too actively to take part in children's controversial situations. If the parent himself resolves the conflict for the child, talks to the source of aggression or the whole class, this will not bear fruit. Again, pressure will increase on the child, he will feel his isolation from the whole class. In addition, they will begin to mock him because of the way he behaved. Allegedly, the child himself cannot resolve the conflict without the participation of the mother. As a result, the child will become even more isolated in himself.
It is also very important not to force the child to show excessive aggression. It won't lead to anything good. The fact is that if a mother tells a child about participating in a fight or conflict, in the future, in life, he will only know a similar way to resolve a controversial situation. In the adult world, there is no place for too active manifestation of aggression. For this reason, the child will not be able to solve any problematic situation of his life.
It is important to cultivate diplomatic qualities in a child, the ability to correctly perceive the situation and resolve conflict situations. As a result of this situation, the child will be able to achieve maximum success both in school and simply in life.
In fact, absolutely any conflict situation can be resolved if you approach it wisely. At school, the child first encounters aggression. However, only again parents will help them solve this problem. Without wise advice from adults, a child can go down a completely wrong path of development, which will only cause problems and complexes in his future.
That is why mom and dad should always be wise. They should not transfer their aggression and not love for the world to the child. It is better to show the child that any problem has its own logical solution and there are no too complicated conflicts. In this case, the child will mentally become stronger, more active and successful.
It becomes clear that conflicts at school are not uncommon. However, only the wisdom of teachers and parents will help children overcome this problem in their lives. As a result, all conditions for successful learning will be created.
Finding a common language with all your classmates at once is not so easy. Due to different upbringing, character, different views on life, conflicts often occur among students.
In elementary grades, conflicts between students are of a very harmless nature. The boy pulled the girl's pigtail, someone shot a paper ball from a pen at his desk neighbor - such disagreements are forgotten by children instantly and in a few minutes the warring parties can become real friends for each other.
As they grow older, the range of interests of students expands, they begin to understand betrayal and friendship well, so they constantly evaluate each other's spiritual qualities. Here, the conflict can already gain serious momentum and even develop into a real brawl.
An example of a conflict situation between students can be well traced on the example of the famous feature film Scarecrow. There, the main character becomes a real outcast of the class and is constantly subjected to severe persecution by her classmates. Whatever the girl did, an offensive nickname was already firmly attached to her - a scarecrow.
Unfortunately, such situations are quite common in real life. When one student becomes hated by the whole class, it becomes unbearable for him to continue to exist in such a team. The so-called outcasts prefer to change their place of study instead of trying to change something in themselves.
The reason for the hatred on the part of classmates can be denunciations of the child to teachers. In almost every class, a real sneak is studying, who, at the first opportunity, gladly pledges all his friends to the school leadership. The class should be a single team. Most of all, children value loyalty in their friends.
If one of the students is noticed in slander, he is immediately put on the list of real traitors. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for classmates to use not only insults but also fists against such scammers. It seems necessary for children to teach the sneak so that from now on he will change the line of his behavior. Teachers, of course, must stop any assault in the classroom and beyond, because the school is directly responsible for the life and health of all students without exception.
Also, most children do not like arrogance. Often excellent students of the class put themselves above their peers and, if possible, try to show the rest of the guys in their place. Such arrogant behavior of a child can result in a serious conflict, and the offender will certainly be punished. Moreover, there are always much more losers than excellent students, and they are always a mountain for each other.
The eternal war of honors and losers takes place in every class. Poor students, of course, are jealous of more successful classmates. The conflict situation is also fueled by teachers who publicly begin to praise some and shame others.
In addition, excellent students usually do not like to let them write off, which means that they are automatically recorded as personal enemies by losers. Some guys even manage to substitute excellent students. For example, you can discreetly replace the control work of a smart-ass or publicly ridicule him right in the middle of the lesson.
Various ridicules are also used - stick a sheet of paper with offensive words on your back, suddenly remove a chair right from under your enemy, put a pie with jam on the seat - the list of various kinds of jokes is inexhaustible and depends only on the child's violent imagination.
However, it is far from always that excellent students become outcasts of the class. Some guys manage to study well, and at the same time pay enough attention to their school friends. A loser will always appreciate if a classmate tries to help him pull up all the tails. Despite their young age, students are already well able to truly appreciate devotion and good attitude towards themselves.
If the conflict occurs right during the lesson, the teacher will always intervene in the situation and calm down the raging classmates. But what if the fight takes place outside the school? A student can be seriously injured, and there will be no one to separate the fighting students. Most often, during such skirmishes, there is a tendency for classmates to not interfere.
That is, the students will stand and silently watch the picture of their peers fighting. It is almost impossible for parents to monitor their child all the time, especially if the student is already in high school. That is why it is necessary from early childhood to invest in your child the right concepts about life, to teach him how to make friends and find a common language with his peers.
Student-student conflicts at school occur because of anything. Someone looked askance, a classmate took the girl away or did not let her write off during the control - the reasons for disagreements between students can be the same as in adulthood. At school, you can feud with some students, but also make friends for the rest of your life. The main thing is, no matter what, always remain human and try to help your classmates in difficult times.
Conflict between students is a fairly common occurrence. Parents need to be sure to teach their child how to get out of such situations with dignity, so as not to further aggravate the conflict.