How to work on yourself, how to start developing and changing your life? Work on yourself psychology where to start

where to start learning on your own

Among the diversity of human life, the inner space of a person remains unknown to many. And this inner life is in many ways more important for a person than the outer one, since the trauma inflicted on the psyche does not heal for decades, unlike the wounds of the body. This is well known to psychologists - people whose life is devoted to the study of the secrets of the soul. And, of course, the desire to understand the other is valuable.

Those who set foot on the path of self-study must go through a difficult path. What are the main difficulties of studying, why is it so difficult to master the science of psychology; where to start studying? Let's try to figure it out.

Methodology

When a person decides to study such a science as psychology, it is worthwhile to thoroughly familiarize yourself with the methodology of science. And devote a lot of time to reading various literature.

But where to start studying psychology on your own? How to find the knowledge base on which you can rely further and study science in depth? No real science exists without fundamental, ordered concepts. First, the subject of science and methodology are studied. Methodology - a systematic analysis of the methods that are used in this science to obtain knowledge.

Start with yourself. Why and what for

The beginning of the study of human psychology is the comprehension of personal motives. First of all, you need to understand why the first step is being taken to study human behavior: in order to be well versed in the development of children and help them grow harmonious either for their own personal growth, or you want to become a professional and get the opportunity to help outsiders.

It is also important to decide in advance which side of science you will study thoroughly: theoretical or practical. After all, it is difficult to find without knowing what exactly. Especially in the ocean of information.

Psychology books. What a beginner needs

What books to start studying psychology with? Setting the goal to study the basics of any science, one must start from the basics: the most basic categories, terms and concepts - all this can be found in any first-year textbook. Such textbooks are in all city libraries. Although they are not very eloquently written, and are full of definitions and tables, they need to be mastered. Further it will be easier. After reading this first book, you need to find the classics of psychology: K. Jung, K. Horney, A. Adler, E. Fromm, and, of course, you need to familiarize yourself with the works of Freud.

A lighter and more interesting book by I. Yalom "When Nietzsche Cried". You can then search for any author's book in the direction that is more interesting at the moment.

We must not forget that it is important for a psychologist to know the basics of philosophy and sociology. It is important to form humanitarian thinking, science is not only theories and theses.

Fiction also contains a lot of useful information for the future psychologist. Classical writers clearly analyzed the nature of the inner world and the actions of their invented heroes. A particularly deep analysis can be found in the books of F. Dostoevsky.

Magazines and publications

In today's incredibly vast space of information, finding an accessible and interesting journal on psychology is not a problem. Many universities publish their own magazine and put free versions on the Internet quite freely. You just need to find the journal that will be informative and useful for you in the chosen field of science.

• "Russian psychological journal".
• The journal VAK "Vestnik VlSU".
• Experimental Psychology.
• "Existential and Humanistic Psychology".
• Online magazine psychologies.ru.
• Other.

The online magazine psychologies.ru was created for a wide range of readers. If you need scientific publications written by qualified employees of the institutes, it is better to read the official publications. Such as: "Russian psychological journal".

The world of psychology. Main directions

In what directions is modern psychology developing? Where to start studying the development trends of the main directions of this science? You cannot succeed in everything at once, and you need to decide on the direction in which a person will feel most confident, that it is closer to him to learn and apply.

The classic directions are as follows:

• cognitive direction;

• Gestalt psychology;

• associative psychology;

• humanistic;

And there are also new directions: psychodrama, coaching, transpersonal psychology and neurolinguistic programming.

Non-verbal communication as a basis

Without which the science of psychology cannot be conceived? Where to start learning? A beginner needs to learn both theory and practice. And the practice, respectively, immediately work out: learn to listen, learn to pay attention to non-verbal signs. This practice is as important as pronouncing sentences in order to learn a foreign language.

Non-verbal messages are a clue to the interlocutor; the theory of non-verbal communication says that gestures, facial expressions and postures of a person say much more about the inner state than words. A good psychologist immediately "calculates" the state of a nearby person by his appearance. Even if you are not going to study psychology professionally, but are only interested in it, you need to learn to identify non-verbal signs. This will make it easier to communicate with loved ones and colleagues.

What character traits need to be developed

Working with people is absolutely impossible without working on yourself. A psychologist is one who studies souls. This is how psychology is interpreted. Where to start studying the behavior and problems of others? From working on your character traits. Because without knowing yourself, it is impossible to know others.

Psyche was a goddess-soul, respectively, the science of the soul cannot be studied without love for the souls of people. You need to be able to put yourself in the place of another and imagine his feelings and emotions. The psychologist also needs good abilities for introspection and self-reflection - that is, the ability to understand one's own emotional condition and behavior. Ability to establish verbal contact with any person.

Indeed, the study of human psychology is not so easy. Where to begin? Develop awareness. For the novice psychologist, this is a key point. If a beginner is faced with the question: where to start studying psychology on his own, then it is better to reformulate it - with whom to start the study. From myself. A psychologist will not be able to solve other people's problems if he does not learn how to solve his complexes, problems, fears and anxieties.

Prosemica

Distance and the need to observe it when conducting a conversation is studied by such a science as proxemics. The concept was introduced to science by Edward Hall.

Edward Hall introduced 4 zones into the scientific world of psychologists that must be observed when communicating:

• intimate;
• personal;
• social area;
• public.

It is not so easy to understand the inner state of people. There is no point in reading a book if a beginner does not know how to recognize the inner mood of the interlocutor.

A psychologist cannot put pressure on a person. When he does not keep the distance, the person will close and will not allow him into his inner world.

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How to work on yourself, how to start developing and changing your life?

Hello dear friends! Many of our readers, who in their lives have come to the need to develop and work on themselves, ask: where can and should you start your development? what is the best way to start the long-awaited changes in yourself and in your life? What tasks and development techniques are there for this?

This is a great and very important question! Especially if the person did not have any spiritual experience or practice in personal development at all.

This article will give important recommendations for development and work on yourself: where should you start your development? what is important to consider? What are the most important solutions for effective personal and spiritual growth? what articles on this topic are worth reading and comprehending? how can you quickly start the long-awaited transformations and transformations of your own life?

What is important to know and what needs to be decided at the beginning of the development path?

It is important to decide on the vector of your development! Where are you going and why ?! After all, development is a path. There are two main vectors of development, or rather, this is the key coordinate system.

1. Levels of power - levels of human development (stages of growth). In fact, it is the level of development that determines what a person can and what he cannot.
2. The degree of his Positivity - what Ideals a person follows in life: the ideals of Good or Evil, or is he an Egoist and for him it is not important. In other words, where does a person go - to God, to the Light or to His opposite (to hell), or for him the highest value is his own self-interest.

These are the main vectors of development that determine which Forces of the Universe will help and patronize a person on the path of development, and in life in general. It is this that will largely determine all the results of his fate.

Decide who you want to help you on this path - Light Forces or Dark, or you don't care.

Key decisions for your own development! How to start developing?

Development is a change of oneself, one's Personality, one's Consciousness and Subconsciousness, it is the disclosure of one's potential and liberation from shortcomings (negativity), vices, weaknesses, pathologies.

It is important to understand the concept of "Development" so that there are no discrepancies and contradictions in the mind. For this I propose to study the following articles that reveal this concept:

But in order to start developing, you do not need to dive headlong into esotericism, you do not need to stuff yourself with gigabytes of theory. You need to start with a simple, obvious, and truly effective practice - answering key questions. Moreover, the answers must be written so that you can re-read what has been written, understand, and correct. make decisions. All changes within you and in your life begin with making new vital decisions!

The main questions to start working on yourself:

1. Write down in a column everything that you are dissatisfied with in yourself and that you want to change.
2. List everything that you want to change in your own life: everything that does not suit you, that causes dissatisfaction, everything that makes you suffer, etc.
3. For each of the above points, write - what exactly do you want to replace the existing one (what does not suit you): A) By yourself, B) By your life (in all areas of life).
4. Repeatedly re-read everything written, reflect, supplement the lists, detail the replacement. The more detailed and clear you define for yourself what you want in return for what you have, the faster changes will begin, and development will enter your life.

Important Additional assignment, give clear and detailed answers to the questions: what I definitely don't want? what I do not want to experience inside? who I definitely don't want to be? what kind of life do I definitely not want?

The written answer to these questions is very powerful, because it gives absolute clarity to our consciousness and subconsciousness, cutting off everything unnecessary, indefinite, distracting, everything that takes our energy and time. Deep honest answers to these questions make us as sincere as possible in front of ourselves, and sincerity gives us a lot of energy for future achievements.

Removing blocks for Development and work on yourself

Clues to the past, attachments, uncorrected mistakes (sins), guilt and unforgiveness of ourselves - prevent us from allowing change and can often completely block our development.

Where are you turned with your consciousness? How does your inner world live - the past? real? future? If the past, if you are turned into the past and stand with your back to your future - changes and development will go with a creak or will be completely blocked.

You need to work out your past - let it go, thank for everything given from Above, repent for everything where you were wrong, forgive yourself, refuse to condemn yourself and others, make a decision that you want only Light, Good, Development for yourself, your Soul , Happiness, only all the best. Because “Development” is Good, and if you wish for yourself Evil, subconsciously or consciously, the streams of positive transformation and development simply will not enter you.

Practical work with your past:

1. Walk mentally through your whole life, remember everything that you can remember and thank the Creator, Fate, your Guardian Angels in writing for all the good and valuable that was given to you in life, thank fate for everything given, incl. and for the trials that made you stronger and wiser. Write from your heart and in as much detail as possible a prayer of gratitude to the Higher Forces for the life you have already lived, for everything that you have, for your achievements, lessons and trials, for everything that you have learned and understood. And direct this prayer to your Creator and Light Forces. It is gratitude that allows you to receive the necessary karmic credits for your past, let it go and step higher into the future.
2. Remember and write down all your mistakes, sins, everything where your conscience is not clear and for which it is necessary to repent before the Higher Forces (during your entire conscious life). For all the sins written out, write arbitrarily, from the heart, a prayer of repentance before God, before people, and before your soul. Remember that the biggest sin, which completely blocks the entry into a person's life of any positive changes, is the non-recognition of their past sins (pride).
3. Write down everything that you can remember, where you blame yourself for something, you cannot forgive yourself for something in your past, for which you internally condemn yourself, scourge, hate yourself. For each item, forgive yourself in writing and let go of guilt and any negativity on yourself. For example: “I forgive myself for…, I open to the flow of Light, to the flow of Development, I change and grow, I direct only Light, Love, Kindness to myself…”. A positive attitude towards oneself is the main creative rule: “so that it doesn’t happen, no matter what mistakes I make, but only Light on myself, and I will definitely correct mistakes” (no negativity and self-destruction).

Do at least these three tasks slowly, in detail and as sincerely as possible, and your life will begin to change for the better, and there will be more joy in your soul.

We continue to remove blocks for the development and change of ourselves.

Is it your choice to live in illusions or in the real world?

Why are so many people unhappy? They fight, they seem to be making a lot of efforts, attempts to change something in their life for the better, but nothing comes of them, as they hang in a vicious circle.

What kind of vicious circle is this? These are illusions in which a person is stuck, illusions that a person himself created within himself, cherished and nurtured. Illusions and unrealizable dreams that a person protects from the real world, in which he hid from real life.

Where do such illusions come from? The reason is fear: fear of life, fear of the surrounding world, fear of people, fear of acting and living in this world, fear of taking responsibility. When a person is afraid of the world and life in it, instead of overcoming his fear, he remains in his usual “comfort zone”, withdraws into himself, creating some kind of illusion, living dreams that he is not going to independently embody in real life. And between him and the real world, in the meantime, a fence of closeness begins to grow, the basis of which is ordinary fear. The more there are such fences between a person and the real world, the more difficult it will be for him to overcome this chasm and change his life.

Such illusions are serious blocks for the development of a person and for changing his fate. A lot of people, living in their little illusory worlds, never leave their comfort zone, and do not achieve anything in life. Meanwhile, outside the window there is a huge, beautiful and boundless world of the Creator, with millions of possibilities and sources of happiness for an active, inquisitive and fearless person.

If a person chooses to live with illusions, and not a real life in the real world, he will face disappointment and collapse. Illusions always lead a person to disappointment, internal dissatisfaction, as a result, to mental pain, depression, complete unrealization and a sad fate.

In order for qualitative changes to enter your life, you must break down the fences of your fears and fears between yourself and this world!

To do this, you need to make a choice: what is more important for you, more valuable - your illusions, that “comfortable” world that you created for yourself or the real world of God in which you want to be successful and happy?

Write in writing and with justification the answer-choice to this question!

To better understand the essence of the problem described above, answer one more question: if a person does not love and is afraid of the world around him, society, people, if he runs away from life and fences himself off from this world, can he count on happiness in this world, on achieving success in him, so that this world will accept him and help him?

Let's cheat a little: can a person be free and happy in a world that he subconsciously or consciously fears? Will the world go towards a person who does not love him and is closed to him? Can a person achieve success in life if he is afraid to live, to live a real life in the big real world?

The answer is obvious: everything that a person is afraid of remains closed and inaccessible to him! Closed until he overcomes his fear and finds the right positive attitude, in this case, towards the world, towards life, towards people.

• To change your life for the better, you need to stop being afraid of it, you need to learn to love it!
• To enjoy life in this world (in the world of the Creator), one must overcome fears of this world, one must learn to accept and love the world, begin to cognize it and its laws.

Your soul will experience true happiness only while living in a real divine world, real life, but not in a world of illusions and unrealizable fantasies. At the same time, I will say that imagination and dreams are very good if you embody them in the real world, in your life. And if you do not embody, these unrealized dreams and your illusory worlds will suck all the juices, devour all the vital energy of your soul, draw your last strength from you, leading to depression and illness. This is how it works.

Practical exercises:

1. Be sure to write down your decisions: A) From now on, live in the real world of God, and not in your own little worlds, with your own laws that are invented and convenient for your ego, B) Step by step, overcome the fear of life, fear of the world, fear of people, bring down all the configured partitions between yourself and this world, C) Learn to accept and love life, the world around, society as they are.
2. Write in your own words, from your heart, a prayer-request to God: to teach you all of the above, to get rid of fruitless illusions and subconscious fears in relation to the world and life in it, tell in prayer to the Creator, your Heavenly Father, that from now on you want life in His world and to cognize it, and not to hide from it, that the illusions created by fear and self-deception are no longer valuable for you. Ask God and the Forces of Light to lead you forward and upward, and teach you life, success, happiness in this world.

Comprehending the knowledge and performing the exercises proposed in this article will certainly help you get off the ground in your development and personal growth. But you need to understand that each person is an individual with their own history, and each has its own set of both merits, talents, strengths, and limitations and karmic blocks. Therefore, ideally, for effective development, each should be looked at individually: what is most blocking its development? what are the reasons for immutability? What knowledge does a person lack the most? what issues and problems are the best to start with? dr.

A Spiritual Guide or Spiritual Healer can best help in designing such an individual development program.

In addition, in order to understand how changes occur with a person and his fate, I recommend studying and working out additional articles:

If you have any additional questions - write to me!

Best regards, Vasily Vasilenko

www.psychology-faq.com

How to work on yourself - Psychologos

It can be difficult to improve yourself, but the results are impressive!

There are not many people who BELIEVE that one can change oneself. Even fewer people are READY to change themselves. And how many people are ABLE to change themselves on their own?

Ian Deutschman's article Change or Die (Fast Company magazine) described a study of patients who needed to change their habits in order to survive. Alas, only 10% of them were able to do this, the remaining 90% of them, after 12 months, returned to their old habits, which practically guaranteed a lethal outcome. Even in the face of a deadly threat, the vast majority of people cannot resist their old habits and make the right choices.

Notice that in that experiment, we were talking about people with the utmost motivation to change: they needed to save their lives. It seems that in quieter conditions people change their habits even more lazily.

However, another group of patients showed different results in this study: in this group, 80% of the participants changed their habits. What made this group different? Only that they did not act alone, they had a support group. The patients in the group met regularly, communicated and discussed their progress, challenges and challenges. Total: with the support group, the results were 7 times better.

It seems that there are literally a few "selfmade" people who made themselves on their own and alone. But why work alone? If you work with a group of like-minded people, your chances will increase at least 7 times. If you practice not just in a group, but under the guidance of a master, your performance will double even more.

Your choice?

Now about all this in more detail.

Look for like-minded people. If you find out who and where is doing what is interesting to you in the field of self-improvement, be sure to come and meet these people. Pay more attention to the atmosphere, to the relationships between people: usually it is warm and attentive relationships between people that turn out to be a guarantee that you will like it here and you will begin to deal with the result.

IT IS BETTER TO LEARN IN A GROUP. LOOK FOR COMMON MINDERS!

Get the support of your friends. It is very important if your friends support you. If not, you need to figure it out: either you are going wrong and the wrong way, or you are not very much along the way with these friends. Maybe your new friends will soon be those who, together with you, want to make themselves new.

Quality training is great support. How and where to learn to work effectively on yourself? Psychological training will help you best of all, the only condition is that it must be of high-quality psychological training. Unfortunately, this is not always easy, there are more low-quality "psychological" trainings today than worthy trainings that can help you. How to get a quality training, see here

Find your coach. Most often, the most important thing is to find YOUR mentor and coach: the one whose thoughts and whose style suits you the most, whom you want to be like and equal. The wizard will help you to more accurately determine the direction, suggest effective techniques and methods, and give a high-quality feedback, will help you not to forget your wonderful intentions, will create the necessary motivation.

UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF A MASTER TO WORK EVEN MORE EFFICIENT

Consider coaching. If you can afford it, we recommend finding your own coach. A coach is a psychologist who accompanies healthy and successful people. Unlike psychotherapists, a coach will not treat you, and unlike a counseling psychologist, a coach does not deal with one-time psychological counseling and as a personal companion supports you on your development path. The coach, if he teaches you, is to a small extent: the coach rather helps you figure out what you want and helps you achieve your goals in the best way.

COACHING IS WORTHY

Get up to the Distance! If you are interested in the most effective work on yourself, then today it is Distance - a coach system of step-by-step personality development. Distance is your independent work on yourself, alternated by meetings in a group under the guidance of a leader. Distance is the most popular self-development system in Russia, developed by N.I. Kozlov. This is the development of communication skills, leadership, self-organization, building relationships in the family, the ability to improve health, accustom yourself to go to bed on time, wean yourself from complaints, excuses and self-criticism, teach yourself to hear, understand and feel people professionally. All of this can be yours.

Today, you can work on the Distance, including online, on the Internet, from any city and from any country in the world.

www.psychologos.ru

Personal growth is, first of all, work and work on oneself. It is building oneself step by step, day after day, continuously and purposefully.

Personal growth is not an end in itself. This is the necessary existence of life and its continuation. Development is life itself. Everything that does not develop degrades and falls into decay.

First, you clearly define and realize your wonderful self-development goals. You think that you are interested and fascinating, what your mind and soul are drawn to.

Then you develop a plan for working on yourself. At this stage, you clearly understand that you will do and organize this work yourself, no one will solve your goals and objectives.

Work on yourself First steps Where to start

And the first thing to start with is to determine your resources, write down the conditions of the problem, i.e. what you have at the moment.

Take a piece of paper and make three lists.

First, write down your flaws, negative qualities, problems. These can be: fear of a new business, laziness, a desire to sleep longer, overweight, etc.

Second - list all the advantages and positive qualities.

The third - features of their character, not attributed to the first two, but taking place.

Think about the first list. Do flaws always get in your way?

For example, fear of starting a new business in some cases may be the result of your caution and a desire to understand the issue in more detail, in others, when a quick decision and action is required, it may act as a brake.

Laziness and the desire to get more sleep are often the result of inappropriate use of time. This is a signal to revise your schedule and adjust your daily routine.

Sometimes a person unconsciously cultivates and cherishes his own shortcomings - this is a reason to complain about himself, moan, worry about this, and thus waste time, justify inaction.

The path of change and development.

Check out How to Be More Effective and more:

Accept yourself wholeheartedly with all the pros and cons

Show love for yourself.

If you can change the flaws - act, work on them.

If it is fundamentally impossible to change (although it is believed that nothing is impossible), use them.

A wonderful parable about the flaws here.

Tell us in the comments with what methods do you develop yourself? How do you use your shortcomings?

And in conclusion, I suggest you rest. Listen to space music.

schastliviymir.ru

where to start and how to fix

Hello dear readers! How work on yourself helps, where to start and how to consolidate the result - today I will give you some recommendations on this topic. There are many exciting opportunities around, but you rarely take advantage of them. Usually, something interferes: there is not enough strength, fatigue, little time, laziness, no desire or money.

I really want to change the everyday and boring life, to add interest and variety. How to find the missing time, strength, the right attitude? There is nothing difficult in this, all you need to do is take four minutes of your time to read this article and the answer will be in front of you. So, let's begin.

Where should you start working on yourself?

Select target

An achievable and concrete task is easier to achieve. A clear task will give you the setting for work and help you organize yourself. The goal is the main reward, it can be touched, felt or seen. If a woman sighs about harmony, then determine how much to lose a kilogram. For a man seeking to overcome the career ladder, choose a position. For a girl who dreams of a worthy groom, think about his qualities. A young man who wants to "conquer" the world, determine the scope of future achievements. Each person can imagine a goal, but it itself will not arrive at the appointed time.

Action plan

When the goal is set, it remains to draw up a plan for its implementation. If the task is not easy, then it should be divided into several intermediate stages. This makes it easier to get started and see the fruits of your efforts. You may need to acquire the necessary knowledge to get the desired result. Working on the plan will take some time, but it will be clearer how to achieve the goal.

Strength of will

The work on the implementation of the plan will remain “in perspective” if there is not enough strong-willed effort. This aspect will have to work hard. The goal you want to get will be a good motivation. You can keep a diary of self-control or make a table in which to describe each step towards the cherished goal. Make an effort not to drop everything at the beginning of the chosen path. After all, it is difficult to keep track of your weight if a woman continues to "by eye" make up her menu. A man, too, will not achieve a promotion at work without the proper qualifications. We must remember about the bonuses that you get at the end of the journey.

Gradualness

You shouldn't try to get all the way in a few days. So you can waste all your strength and be disappointed in a successful completion. To come to the coveted finish, carry out your work gradually. Let the results in the beginning be very modest, but there will be enough energy to reach the end. Haste will lead to mistakes and unnecessary worries. If, nevertheless, you feel a lack of strength, there are powerful ways to quickly restore strength and energy, read the link.

Find Companions

Emotional component

A goal that has a lot of work going on should evoke positive emotions. You don't have to strive for something just to "wipe" your competitors' nose. What if such a goal will bring emptiness and irritation? The end result should please you, no matter what other people think or say about it.

How to consolidate changes for the better?

• Forgive yourself for small mistakes in the initial stages. After all, not everything can work out right away. If the work is not successful, then take a short pause, analyze your mistakes. Be glad even for a negative result. Consider this a test run. Then start over.
• Develop self-control. If you consciously perform an action for a long time, then it will become easy to perform. But at the very beginning of the journey, you will have to do some self-control work. It will take patience and confidence to act. A long journey and long work will require dedication and focus.
• Reward yourself for every job you do. It can be inter-stage, but no less valuable. The end goal is sometimes far away, but any person needs to feel the approval of their actions. There is no need to save on positive emotions. Even one pound lost can be rewarded, but not with food. Choose a reward such that a small result does not become zero.
• Changing habits. Sometimes habitual actions prevent you from achieving your cherished desire. The love of sweet desserts is becoming a serious obstacle in the work on harmony. Smoking reduces the body's stamina and causes apathy. Love for alcoholic beverages makes you forget what the goal itself is for. Look, perhaps habitual but useless actions are preventing you from moving forward. Better to get into good habits.

Conclusion

Changing yourself is best throughout your life. In reaching your goal, look for a new dream. Why dwell on the same thoughts, diversify them. There are no ideals, but there is an opportunity to approach them. Everyone takes responsibility for making changes in their lives. Determines the right time for this and works out the path. Working on yourself takes a long time, requires strong motivation so as not to get lost on the way. Without changing anything in the scenario of your life and relying on stereotypes, it is easy not to notice how the years have passed in monotony and routine.

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Work on yourself. Why is this needed and where to start?

A person often forgets that changing the world around him is an unbearable task for a loner, but at the same time he constantly strives to change the world around him. Although if you start to change yourself, then the world around you will begin to change. The process of self-improvement is just the way to change yourself.

But how to start cultivation?

To do this, you need to "look" into yourself. Understand your pros and cons. Get to know yourself.

Self-improvement stages:

1) Introspection. It is important at this stage to be honest with yourself. You can just remember your life and write down:

actions that make you ashamed;

turning points of life;

problems that interfere with life.

The main thing is to honestly admit your guilt and not feel sorry for yourself. Life analysis can be emotional and tragic. But the more emotion and pain is put into this analysis, the more truthful the picture will be. Thus, it will be possible to identify the main circle of problems that impede moving forward.

2) Motivation. Reading motivating books, self-hypnosis are wonderful tools for self-motivation, but action is necessary. You constantly need to become better in something, to change your character in some small actions. Crowded buses annoy you, you have to give yourself the word not to be upset about this and keep yourself in control. And, in this vein, try to act all the time.

3) Work plan. After introspection, you can draw up a plan for working on yourself. Determine and write down priority areas and goals, and schedule actions to achieve the goal point by point. After that, you can begin to implement this plan. It is helpful to keep a diary in which to record all your successes. This will serve as additional motivation.

4) Action. Each missed minute pushes a person further and further away from his goals. Therefore, you need to start taking action, just start following your plan. Initially, not everything will work out, there will be many obstacles. But every small step towards the goal will make a person more and more confident, less and less obstacles will arise in his path.

The process of working on yourself should not be approached from only one side. A person must develop in all directions.

Intelligence. It is necessary to constantly improve both your professional knowledge and develop your erudition;

Body. It is imperative to develop physically. Sports activities, various healing and cleansing procedures will help you to treat yourself with great respect.

Spiritual or creative nature. Being creative helps to expand the framework of thinking, and get to know yourself better from the inside.

Communication. Communicating with other people, you can not only receive new information and take an example from them, but also better get to know human nature, understand other people and yourself.

Self-improvement is a long and painstaking work. You need to force yourself to continue this work every day.

Only in the process of long and painstaking work is it possible to understand the reasons for your fears and failures and change your life, making it happier and more fulfilling.

What is self-improvement?

What is “work on oneself”, self-improvement, about which so much is now being spoken, written and argued about? How exactly does this happen? What do people do when they say (or don't say) that they are cultivating?

Yes, of course, this is a very personal concept. What one person considers as work on oneself, another will refer to an absolutely natural matter that does not require any effort at all.

This is the definition I found from my respected psychologist Nikolai Kozlov: "Self-improvement (work on oneself) is the conscious development of worthy (necessary in life and ethical) skills and qualities, and on their basis - the development of new roles."

I asked the public here on Facebook: "What do you understand to work on yourself, what methods and what exactly are you doing in this direction?"

There were many interesting answers! Here are some, excerpts from the comments(Thank you my dear friends!):

• When you do something new and you like it.
• Self-control and above all over thoughts.
• It is love and self-respect.
• It’s like cleaning, only inside yourself, you can do it every day, you can do it once a week, you can do it less often, or you don’t have to do it at all…. then harmony, then comfortable with oneself.
• Working on yourself is improving your character and spiritual qualities. Self-discipline and self-education. Harmonious coexistence with the surrounding world.
• First of all - clarity in life (awareness, responsibility for what is realized and actions out of responsibility), following one's own path and self-discipline.
• Acceptance of yourself, anyone. The hardest job.
• Education of character and the search for values.
• This is work on your inner world, on your inner qualities, on your character, work on fears.
• This is a search and elimination in oneself (!) Of the reasons for dissatisfaction with one's life, one's relationships with others and one's reputation. This is the transformation of your personality, taking into account the wishes of how you need to be perceived.
• The ability to dream big and not be afraid to act.
• I have long been accustomed to making plans for myself for a week, a month, a year. And in them: what books to read, what grades to correct, what languages ​​to learn, what physical activity to give yourself, what competencies. Well, and all sorts of personal qualities such as courage and self-confidence to pump.
• Morning-evening meditation practices. There are favorites. Filling with energy, rejuvenation, expansion of consciousness. The thoughts that come, I observe and send further - I do not get stuck.

What do all these options have in common? The need for change. Absolutely everyone, one way or another, talked about the fact that it is important to change: to change habits, the way of thinking, the way of action. And this is a lifelong process. Now you understand where to start working on yourself?

One friend of mine once wrote me a message: “Lucky you! You see how everything moves, turns. Such a bright and eventful life. But with me everything is in place, everything is the same as a year, and five, and ten years ago. "

Are you lucky? Is it moving? Yes, this very "everything" can only move in one way - if you move it. Do what moves you towards your dreams, intentions, your desires. And if you do nothing, then you will never be “lucky”. And this person is in illusions - everything cannot remain the same as it was 10 years ago. Everything has changed a long time ago:

There is no balance in life. Every moment is either a movement towards perfection or degradation (Andrew Matthews).

It will not work just like that "stand, wait, observe." It turns out that you are always either forward or backward (even if at that moment it seems to you that nothing is happening). And what is moving? Is it not just to touch with your feet on the sinful Earth? Of course not. It's about changing yourself. The ones that friends wrote about in the comments to the post on Facebook. The very ones that are necessary to become the best version of yourself, yesterday, the day before yesterday or ten years ago.

But ... We do understand what it means to change ourselves? Colossal work. By the way, Erich Maria Remarque said that:

To change something, a person needs to go through a catastrophe, poverty or the nearness of death.

But even in the face of the threat of death, a person is far from always ready to change (change himself!).

In one study (which the Fast Company magazine wrote about in its article "Change or Die!" change their habits in order to survive. Alas, only 10% of them were able to do this, the remaining 90% of them, after 12 months, returned to their old habits, which practically guaranteed a lethal outcome.

Incidentally, the same study concluded that joy is a much stronger motivator for change than fear. You need to find what the joy of life is for you personally, what you can do daily life more enjoyable.

Quoting from the article:

Telling people who are lonely and depressed that they will live longer if they quit smoking or change their diet and lifestyle is not motivation! Who wants to live longer if they suffer from chronic emotional pain?

And this is a speech about a mortal threat! And what can we say about the idea of ​​changing, working on oneself, doing self-improvement when there is no such threat ?!

"HOW did you force yourself to do THIS?" - I was asked more than once when I talked about what I was doing, habits and what

How did you get it? Here, rather, there is no secret - my favorite motto: Just do it! Just do it. Do it every day. Even in small steps, but regularly. And even if you suddenly fell out - do not whine, do not scold yourself. Just take it and do it again. Every day. This is work on yourself!

The secret, rather, lies in something else: how to WANT? How to find the very strong motivator that was discussed in the article - the joy of life. I don’t know how to answer this question. The only way I know is to seek, try and learn to understand what joy is for you. There is no single correct answer. Joy is a whole range of options. Joy is not a frozen result, but a process. What gave joy yesterday, today can turn into commonplace. And that means - look again! Work on yourself again - there is no limit to perfection. Well, or degradation)))).

- Masha, what exactly are YOU doing when you talk about working on yourself? - I was asked in that very discussion on Facebook.

But the truth is, if we move away from general phrases about self-improvement - what exactly is it expressed in?

Personally for me- i.e. in accordance with my goals, dreams, wishes, ideas about the joys of life and current values ​​for today - this list looks like this (some things that I can and want to voice publicly, of course):

• Charge every morning. Necessarily. In any condition, at least 10-15 minutes. This allows you to be cheerful, collected, and feel great. As a habit, this need “grew” for two months: I overdid it, but did it. Now I just can't live without her!
• I listen to any audio clips that are relevant to me at the moment (usually on YouTube). Now, for example: lectures by Mikhail Kazinik on music and literature, lectures on the history of religions, Alunik Dobrovolskaya, sometimes Khakamada. By the way, I combine this activity with morning exercises or jogging.
• or a lot (a lot!) I go. In Moscow, for example, she refused to move around the city by car - only on foot! And in time it is more beneficial for the figure and health at times more useful.
• I am reading. Lot. The choice of books also depends on goals, values ​​now and mood, of course. At the moment I have Asya Kazantseva's Who Would Think on my bedside table. Incredibly interesting! And on the way ... "Dead Souls". Yeah. After Kazinik's lectures, I wanted to reread. More precisely - READ. At school I hated this ... poem! This is a poem, by the way, yes.
• Every day I practice using the book "Trainer for the Brain" (by Andrey Moguchy).

This book is a trainer for developing attention and awakening intelligence. It is very easy to use - even a child can safely practice with it on their own. The book really helps to bring your brain into working order in a matter of seconds, to always remain in excellent intellectual shape. I bought and gave one copy to my mother and husband. They promised to do it)))

• Writing. Texts, book. Not waiting for a muse, but writing, writing, writing - this is the secret of success if you want to be a writer, not just a scribe.
• I am writing Morning Pages. Or not morning, but evening. Or daytime. Does not matter. The important thing is that I have been doing this for several years in a row and I can say for sure that it is very difficult to overestimate the effect. This is a very, very powerful tool for your own understanding of yourself, values, experience, mistakes. What are "morning pages" and how to do it - you can read Julia Cameron's "The Artist's Way"

Of course, this is far from all of what I do: I am learning to blog and promote a blog, I am constantly working on the ability to manage my own emotions, I continue to learn to allow myself important things for me, which are under the locks of internal prohibitions and restrictions ...

And there are many more topics that I really want to introduce into my life. For example, systematically study English. I fired up the incredible idea of ​​listening to lectures in English and personally interviewing various interesting people. I want to take up dancing and feel the lightness and flexibility of my body both at 60 and at 70 years old.

There is such an expression: "Conquer yourself, and you will win a thousand battles." Behind these loud, beautiful words, there is a very simple truth: every day, making even small steps in the direction of your dreams, you will definitely be happy. Already on the way. And if this is not so - perhaps you are going in the wrong place.

What examples do you have of working on yourself? How have you changed yourself? What are you doing SPECIFICALLY? Share!

AND MORE ... Let's play? I have a deck of cards that give great hints. Including questions about working on yourself.

The cards are magical. They only tell the truth. Checked)))). Do you want to be convinced?

To everyone WHO LEAVES COMMENTS ON THE SITE (to this article or any other) - I promise to get the first card in your hands from this deck and send you its value.

So: we comment (if you write a comment on another article - write: “I want a map!” We ask ourselves a question (important, relevant). I will see the comment - and I post the map for you in response to comments.
GO!

There is a wonderful saying that says: "Until the thunder breaks out, the man will not cross himself."

Indeed, most people understand that they need to work on themselves when life is nailed to the wall. Some take up a healthy lifestyle when they hear a disappointing prognosis from doctors. Others begin to reconsider their behavior if loved ones turn away.

Of course, there are situations when a person clearly knows what he wants from life, makes plans for how to work on himself - on his own or with a psychologist. He purposefully goes to achieve the goal, overcoming all difficulties on the way in order to ultimately become stronger. But there are not so many lucky ones. You can recall many famous historical personalities who, in fact, through long hard work themselves made their name, for example, D.I. Mendeleev, S.A. Yesenin, D.S. Likhachev and many others. However, an ordinary person (like you and me) is rarely inspired by the example of at least one of the listed people, isn't that so? We have separated ourselves too much from such comparisons.

What leads a person to the need to work on himself

What makes a person look at himself, at his actions, bad habits in a different way? Life itself, which daily shows colorful examples: "Work on yourself, otherwise you will not achieve anything." When we understand that time is running out inexorably, but so little has been done, and we want so much, we begin to think. Thoughts appear that you need to work on yourself, fight against weaknesses, set tasks and strive to achieve them.

Often health leads us to the need for self-correction: when a person drank and smoked and faced problems with the cardiovascular system, it was time to grab onto the mind. Sometimes circumstances from the outside contribute to changes - low-paid work does not bring satisfaction, a person cannot buy what he wants. Then he begins to look for another place, strives to get an education, makes useful contacts.

A kick from fate in the overwhelming majority of cases serves as a trigger signal that echoes in our minds: "Work on yourself or not!"

Will you be able to cope with the problems on your own?

On this score, there is another good saying, which says: "One is not a warrior in the field." Any person at a certain stage of life needs support, sympathetic attention, and a reliable shoulder. It is up to you to decide who to turn to for advice when the need for work on yourself matures.

• You can trust a friend.

  Who will listen, prompt, cheer up. Just do not confuse a friend with a colleague or acquaintance, for whom your situation is a reason to “grind the bones”, and do not impose your vision on anyone in order to lure him to a joint start.

• Or seek the help of specialists.

  An intelligent master (coach, psychologist) will teach the "correct" self-examination. A person, having attended trainings, will be able not only to see the problem, but also to learn how to work on oneself correctly, fruitfully, which areas to pay special attention to, which mechanisms to use, where to look for strength and resources for change. It is important that there is trust in the master, that this person is pleasant, does not cause internal rejection.

• Communication with like-minded people helps a lot.

  For example, a woman decided to lose weight. Naturally, it is not easy at first to give up sweets, nighttime snacks, and watching TV on your favorite couch (instead of going to the gym). Perhaps the same people who want to lose weight will come to the aid of a losing weight person. Where can I find them? Anywhere - in the same gyms, in social media groups, on forums. It is psychologically easier to accept changes when there are concrete examples of the achievements of people with your problem, they inspire and help to find solutions. Look for examples on the Web. By the way, the same support group can be found at collective trainings where people come, driven by the goal of understanding themselves and changing.

• Go yourself.

  But sometimes a person has to walk the difficult road to the desired one himself. And the lack of support from the outside is not a reason to give up the thought of working on yourself in order to achieve more. If the thought about the need for changes in life has appeared in my head, it means that a small step towards victory has already been taken.

How to start working on yourself

Let's say you decide to change something in yourself - a habit, bad qualities. Or maybe you are not satisfied with some details in life - the absence of a soul mate, dissatisfaction with work. You can start building a life that satisfies you by following these points:

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

   Understand that nagging doesn't actually get you anywhere. Relatives, of course, can pity you, listen to you, but the problems will not disappear from this. So you not only harass others, but also simply pound water in a mortar. Although the minutes spent on complaints can be used much more productively.

2. Try to turn problems into tasks.

   For example, you think your character is terrible. On the one hand, this is a problem, on the other, the task is to become more balanced, calmer and more patient. Or you have an alcohol problem. She, too, can be retrained into the task of starting to lead a sober lifestyle. Cheer up, almost every mistake can be corrected if desired. And you should start doing this by changing your attitude to the situation.

3. Stop thinking of yourself as a failure.

   Sometimes we say to ourselves the words: "I will not succeed, I definitely will not be able to do it." Naturally, after that I don't want to do anything, because we have doomed ourselves to failure with just one phrase. Better to say: "I'll try!" There are no people in nature who can do everything - minutes of weakness, bad habits, everyone has shortcomings. Why are you worse than others ?.

4. It is not easy to honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses if you are not used to seeing the good in yourself. Take a piece of paper where you write down all your pros and cons. And then think about it, maybe some negative aspects can be transformed, if not into dignity, then at least in particular of your character?

   For example, others blame you for unsociability, unsociability, coldness, indifference. But isn't this your peculiarity? Your unwillingness to flaunt your emotions does not hinder you in life, but, on the contrary, helps you to concentrate and not commit rash acts.

5. Make a plan for working on yourself.

   You need to start looking for goals and paths that will lead to success. Moreover, the task should be as specific as possible, and even more specifically broken down into subtasks. Not just “I want to be rich and famous”, but “I want to get an economic education, learn English language, find a good job in the field of finance with a salary of 100 thousand rubles, improve qualifications, rise in positions ... ". If you have a goal to start leading a healthy lifestyle, write down in the plan all the points that will lead to the dream: “go to bed no later than 11 pm, in the morning after a contrast shower, do 15-minute exercises, eat oatmeal for breakfast instead of sandwiches ...). Constantly having a clear plan in front of your eyes, it will be easier for you to focus on its points and thus purposefully go towards what you intended.

6. Do not deviate from the points of the plan.

   A person who works on himself will achieve victory if he does not postpone things on the back burner. Decided to change yourself - start now. Believe me, tomorrow or in a week you will also not want to do a morning run (give up a cigarette in favor of, for example, an apple or tidy yourself up instead of watching a series).

7. Get the support of your peers (friends, colleagues, relatives).

   Share the news that you started working on yourself with a person you like. Perhaps he will give useful advice, suggest something from his experience. However, stay away from scoffers (those who perceive your endeavors with wicked irony). Better to read a book or take a walk alone with your thoughts.

8. Don't give up on reminders.

   Sometimes people are very helpful, for example, notes with cribs ("at 12 you need to do 20 squats, at 14 drink a glass of juice, at 16 go for a walk"). Use your phone, a cross on your hand, or a sticker on your computer for reminders. It is sometimes difficult to keep everything in the head. Reminders like these will encourage you to stay on track.

9. Find practical meaning in the change.

How not to leave the race by starting work on yourself

If you are thinking about how to work on yourself, then you are already on the right track. Now, do not allow yourself to shirk from your plan. Whether you call a specialist, a friend, or go it alone is not so important. The main thing is to strive for the designated point on the way. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to set yourself grandiose plans - this way you will rather fizzle out. Plan a small thing, but do it as productively as possible. Let's say that daily runs of 15 minutes will be more fruitful than a one-time marathon of 5 kilometers. Do not give up slack, do not feel sorry for yourself. Understand that only you can change your life. And believe in yourself, you will certainly succeed.

Everyone has ups and downs in life, and often we blame others for our failures, fate, but we can not see our shortcomings point-blank. In order to change something in the world around you, you need to start, first of all, with yourself.

One day you will ask yourself the question - "where to start working on yourself?" Self-improvement is a delicate matter, you need to approach it very competently so that at one moment you do not have a desire to give up everything.

The wheel of life - as a strong motivation on the path of self-improvement

If you do not know where to start self-development how to choose the right path for yourself, first you need to understand where you are at. The Wheel of Life is a system that helps you analyze your level of success.

To do this, you need to draw a circle, divide it into 8 sectors:

- career and business. Do you enjoy your work?

- finance. Are you satisfied with your salary? Do you have enough funds for material independence?

- friends and entourage. Does your environment help you grow? What do you get from communicating with friends?

- family and love. Is there harmony in your relationships with loved ones?

- health and sports. How good is your health? Would you like to make your body attractive and lose weight?

- entertainment and recreation. Are you organizing your vacation correctly in order to not only recharge your batteries, but also get something useful for yourself?

- education and personal growth. What knowledge have you acquired in order to develop and improve yourself?

- the brightness of life. Are you satisfied with your life? Are there enough bright, memorable moments in it?

Each sector is your life value, which is necessary in order to feel the happiest. Thus, you will put things in order in your goals and you will better understand what you need to strive for. Also, do not forget to write what exactly in each sector you lack for complete happiness.

Each sector must be rated on a 10-point scale. You must be as honest with yourself as possible. No need to look for excuses for your saggy tummy or small salary. Just finally admit to yourself that everything is bad in these areas and you need to do something about it.

After that, connect the points on the scale with a line. If the figure in the center resembles a circle, then you can only be congratulated. You are in complete harmony with yourself and with the world around you.

If you get a curved shape, you can see which sector you need to work on in order to achieve harmony and happiness. In addition, by tidying up one sector, you can positively influence other parts as well.

After analyzing each sector, you must set global goals for yourself, which need to be broken down into several small ones and already confidently strive towards them. In addition, the goal must be achievable, so be realistic and do not try to become slim, like Angelina Jolie, and find yourself a prince in the person of Brad Pitt.

Keep a diary and write down what you have achieved, every little victory. For example, you gave up unhealthy but tasty food. Praise yourself for this.

A positive outlook is half the battle

Personal development cannot be achieved without a positive outlook on the future. If you think all the time that you will not achieve anything, that there are no results, thoughts about giving up everything will swarm, you will never achieve anything.

You should meet every day with a smile, rejoice at even the smallest victories, see positive in everything, notice changes in yourself.

Of course, thoughts alone are not enough for human self-development. Actions are important. At first, 30 minutes a day is enough - to read a book, to learn something. You can even just not sit on social networks or watch TV in the evening, and this will already be a victory and the first steps on the way. self-improvement.

Literature for self-improvement

Self-development books are another step towards improving your personality. There are many primary sources, like the Bible or books on the teachings of the Tao, but they will be incomprehensible to many.

There is a mass tonight books for self-development. We present you a list of some of them:

1. Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen Life Whole. Teaches you to set realistic goals that are easy to achieve. You will be able to correctly prioritize;
2. Dan Waldschmidt "Be the best version of yourself." This book can radically change your life. It tells how simple people become outstanding;
3. MJ Ryan "This year I ..." This book will be useful to everyone, as it helps to change habits, keep promises made to yourself, and change your life for the better;
4. Brian Tracy "Get out of your comfort zone." Worldwide recognized as the # 1 book on self-development. You will be able to step out of your comfort zone to achieve maximum goals;
5. Kelly McGonigal “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen? " The author believes that willpower is like muscles that need to be pumped and strengthened.

All books have one main meaning - self-development never ends. You can work all your life on the development of your personality, make your life bright and unforgettable. Each of us strives to be better, but this quality must be used competently.

Several rules for self-development

Every person lives in their comfort zone, and often we are afraid of something new and unknown, which is why it is so difficult, and sometimes scary, to change our lives. The process of self-development must be turned into a habit in order to never go astray.

Where to start self-development? Plan Simple steps will help you gradually develop this habit:

- life depends directly on our desires and actions. Nothing is impossible in it. Never tell yourself that something is impossible to do, just think about what it takes to make it achievable;

- Divide the path to the main goal into several small ones that are easy to achieve. Once this becomes a habit, you can set more goals for yourself;

- In the evening, think about everything that happened to you during the day. Write down your successes and failures. If you did something wrong or that you didn’t succeed, think about what would change if you did it differently.

Do not forget that self-improvement is a difficult path, but very interesting. If you once decide to change your life, stick to this idea always, and believe that the result will meet all expectations. Always look at life, successes and failures with a positive, and then you will definitely succeed.